


Resilient

by Loveandcoffeeandothersimplicities



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27895705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveandcoffeeandothersimplicities/pseuds/Loveandcoffeeandothersimplicities
Summary: Caitlin Snow and Barry Allen have been best friends all their life. When one goes, the other follows. What happens when something occurs that not even the both of them could ever imagine happening? Snowbarry. I do not own the Flash.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Gonna try my hand at another Snowbarry story. I'll still be updating my other one, so no worries. I've just been looking back at some of my old ones and realized I've really missed it. I haven't been watching this season at all so this is completely based off my creativity. If you like, feel free to review as always. Thanks! Xxx

Caitlin studied her reflection as she placed her other earring into her earlobe. She had a date tonight, the first one in a few months. Since she and Julian had broken up. She wasn't sure if she was ready to start letting the walls around her heart go back down but her best friend said she'd never know until she tried. She thought about Barry Allen, her best friend since grade school. Through everything, it had always been the two of them.

When Nora Allen had died, Caitlin could have sworn a part of Barry had died, too. He didn't do anything except stay in bed, he was that overcome with grief. For her part, Caitlin stuck by her best friend, no matter what. No matter the pain she felt at witnessing him cracking under his grief. She held him up, always being the shoulder, he could lean on, no matter the time. Eventually, and with gentle encouraging from her, he came back to life. Started going out a bit more, started seeming more relaxed when he smiled. And, she was proud beyond recognition. She needed him to be okay; they relied on one another to survive.

Just then, there was a knock at her door, and she looked up, smile tugging at her lips. The man in thought was resting against her doorjamb, looking at her.

"You look beautiful, Cait," Barry said, and she grinned.

"Thanks, Barry," she replied. She took one more look in the mirror before turning around completely and surveying her best friend.

"Are you going to be okay without me here for a few hours?" Caitlin asked. That was one of the wonderful, (if not predictable), things about being best friends with Barry Allen for as long as she had. They ended up rooming together in an apartment after her breakup. Where she had stuck by his side after his mother's death, he had stuck by her side from her breakup.

He rolled his eyes fondly.

"Quit worrying about me," he chastised gently, and she ducked her head, grinning guiltily. "But, yes. I'll be fine. Cisco and Hartley are coming over and we're going to binge The Walking Dead."

Barry and Caitlin had met the two partners one night when they were at a bar. After a quick introduction, they all sat down and stayed talking until it was time for the bar to close. They had been friends ever since.

"I'm jealous. Can I watch, too?" Caitlin asked hopefully, but Barry leveled her with a look.

"No. You are going out and meeting someone and going to have fun again. Even if it kills you," he said.

She snorted. "I'm too young to die."

"You're such a little shit, you know that?" Barry asked, amusement in his eyes.

She laughed. "I know."

Barry looked at his watch. "You better go if you don't want to be late."

Caitlin pulled her sweater on and looked at him. "Wait up to hear about it?"

"Always."

XXX

The restaurant was quiet and quaint, something Caitlin wasn't entirely sure how she felt about on a first date. On the one hand, at least she wasn't at some rowdy bar, having to shout to hear herself; on the other, this type of place reminded her of the places she and Julian would go to and she didn't want to think about that. Taking another sip of her wine, she looked at James.

"So, you're in marketing?" Caitlin asked curiously, and he nodded.

"Yeah, that's what I majored in and I was lucky enough to get a job right out of college," he replied, and she smiled.

"That's good," she said.

"What about you?" James asked.

"Me? I work at an elementary school," she smiled, thinking fondly of the students she taught.

"Children?" James asked in horror, and she laughed at his tone.

"They can be terrors," she agreed. "But for the most part, they're great. Keep me on my toes."

They continued talking, sharing parts of themselves with one another, and Caitlin found herself not hating the date as much as she thought she would. Eventually, she looked at James.

"I have to use the restroom, I'll be right back," she smiled, and he nodded, matching it.

After coming back from the restroom, she sat down and took another sip of her wine.

"Where were we?"

XXX

Caitlin wasn't sure why she felt dizzy suddenly, but she looked at James, grimacing apologetically.

"I think I may have had too much to drink," she murmured.

He nodded. "I'll walk you out."

Standing up, she slid her sweater on, trying to control the sudden shaking in her legs, and allowed James to lead her out of the restaurant, his hand on her lower back. She saw a cab and got ready to hail it down, but James eased her hand back down by her side, and she stared at him through hazy vision.

"I'll walk you home," he murmured, and suddenly, she didn't want to be around him. She shook her head.

"It's okay," she mumbled, words sounding garbled. He just placed a hand on her back lightly and led her forward, wrapping his arm around her waist when her legs gave out.

"You slipped me something." It wasn't a question; Caitlin knew just how true it was.

He continued walking them forward until they reached an alleyway of sorts and eased her down on the ground. She wanted to kick her legs out, but she was fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Just something to help you relax," James said softly. She knew what he was going to do and couldn't stop him. So, she did the only thing her mind would let her and disengaged from what was happening. Eventually, she went willingly into the darkness.

XXX

When Caitlin came to, she was still in the alleyway, James long gone. There was a dull ache between her legs and blood. She knew what had happened. She shook her head, clearing the last of the cobwebs away before searching for her phone. She didn't have to look far. Picking up her phone with shaking fingers, she dialed a number and waited for them to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hartley listen to me. I need you to come help me. Don't tell Barry or Cisco what you're doing," she whispered. For his part, he didn't give anything away; just said he was on his way. As she waited, Caitlin felt the last of her disorientation wear off. She wasn't upset by what happened; she was fucking livid. Livid at the fact that someone was so evil that they felt like they could do that. Just then, she heard someone calling her name and recognized Hartley's voice.

"Down here!" Caitlin yelled back, and she heard his running footsteps as he came into view moments later. He stopped next to her and got down on his knees, taking in the sight of her.

"Caitlin, what the fuck?" Hartley gasped, eyes on her legs. She clamped them shut, not wishing for him to see anything. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. Just tell me what happened."

Exhaling, she told him what happened. Hartley covered his mouth when his hand.

"Jesus. That fucker," he growled. "We need to get you to the hospital."

Caitlin nodded her head and let him help her stand up, wincing at the pain she felt. He suggested they call Barry, but she shook her head, aghast at the idea.

"No," she said.

"But-,"

"No," she reiterated. "He's been through so much. He doesn't need to deal with this."

Hartley opened his mouth but shut it with a sigh at the look on her face. He nodded his head.

"Alright. Let's go."

XXX

After being at the hospital and being tested, Caitlin and Hartley were sent on their way, with Caitlin given strict instructions to rest and taking the medication they provided her so she could heal and not end up pregnant. Thank God for small blessings. Hartley drove them back to her apartment, sending her frequent side glances of worry, but she ignored him. She didn't want to talk about what happened. It happened. There was nothing to be done about it. She just wanted to keep living her life and not let anyone, especially her other friends, find out what happened.

When they pulled up to her complex, she got ready to open the door, but Hartley stilled her with a hand on her shoulder. Pausing, she looked up at him and watched as he seemed to be weighing his words with care.

"I know you, Caitlin," he said. "That's why I know you're going to try and push everyone away because you feel like you have to handle this on your own, but you don't. Don't push us away."

She looked at him for a long moment before nodding. Then, they got out of the car and made their way up to the apartment silently. When they opened the door, Cisco and Barry looked up.

"How was the date?" Cisco asked, and she shrugged.

"Fine. Nothing special. I don't think it'll really work out," she said.

Barry looked at her. "Something happen?"

She shook her head. "No. Just not my type."

She could see Hartley staring at her intently out of the corner of her eye and knew he wanted her to tell him what happened, but she just couldn't. She remembered all the nights she had stayed up with him while he cried over his mother's death, saying she wasn't going anywhere. Rationally, she knew he'd be the same but still. Still. Something held her back.

"I'm just really tired. I think I'm going to call it a night," she said. Without looking at Hartley, or anyone else for that matter, she made her way to her bedroom. She really wanted a shower and knew that she could have one, now that hospital got all the testing they needed. She was adamant about not pressing charges, just wanting to put this behind her. Hartley, while upset by that decision, hadn't pressed her on it, saying it was her decision to make.

As she stood in the shower, she let the hot water loosen her stiff muscles. She looked down at her most private area and noticed the discoloration; the bruising. James wasn't gentle in his attack. Shoving the thought out of her mind, she continued to scrub at her body until the water ran cold and she got out. Making her way into her bedroom, she slipped into her pajamas and got into bed. As she laid there, she wondered if she should feel a sadness. She didn't. She just felt hollow. No tears came. And, she didn't care about that.

Author's note: Reviews?


	2. Chapter 2

When Caitlin woke the next morning, it was to a dull ache in between her legs. Sighing, she sat up slowly, remembering how the doctor said she'd be feeling some pain for a few weeks at least. Taking a look around her room, she debated if she really wanted to get out of bed and face the day. Then, the thought of Barry and his concern for her popped up in her mind and that's what had her getting out of bed. She didn't want her best friend to worry for her; not the way she had worried for him. It wasn't fair to him to bring him into what happened, and she had been serious when she told Hartley the night before that she was just looking to put the attack behind her.

She padded her way into the kitchen, unsurprised to see Barry fiddling around with the coffee pot. He was the earlier riser out of the two of them on the weekends. He heard her walking in and turned around, smile on his face.

"Morning," he greeted her. "There's fresh coffee."

"Thank God," she sighed happily, making her way to the coffee pot and pouring her a cup. She sat down at the table, him following suit once he got his own cup of coffee. They were silent as they drank their coffee, giving Caitlin ample opportunity to think about things she'd rather not have to think about right now. Or, ever, if she was being honest with herself. She took a sip of her coffee, relishing in the way the warm liquid seemed to warm her from the inside out. Just then, Barry spoke up.

"So, you and James aren't going to try for a second date?" Barry asked. She cringed internally at that thought but outwardly, just shrugged.

"No. There wasn't any real chemistry, you know? And, what's the point of forcing something if it's not meant to happen?" Caitlin replied.

Barry nodded. "I get that. I still want you to keep at the dating game, though. You deserve happiness, too."

Caitlin thought about his words for a few moments, then the way James felt on top of her before she lost consciousness, and sighed.

"I don't know if I'm really wanting to date right now," she admitted.

"Caitlin," Barry sighed. "It's been six months since you and Julian broke up. You've got to get back out there. You're too much of a catch for guys to not be falling over themselves to get your number."

Or, to get in your pants. One of the two. Opting out of saying anything on that particular subject, she smiled.

"I'll think about it," she said, closing the topic.

XXX

About an hour later, Barry left, saying he needed to meet with his father about something. That left Caitlin alone in an apartment and her thoughts. Not wishing to think about things at all, she turned to one of her favorite coping mechanisms: cleaning. She scrubbed every surface of their apartment with lemon scented Clorox. True, the attack hadn't happened in her apartment, it still left her feeling tainted wherever she went, and she'd be damned if that followed her into her own home.

After cleaning their entire apartment from top to bottom, Caitlin heard a knock on the door. She put away the cleaning supplies and went to go answer it, finding herself face-to-face with Hartley.

"Hartley? What are you doing here?" Caitlin asked.

"I came to see how you're doing. I brought coffee," he said, holding up two cups from Jitters.

Caitlin sighed. "Hartley, I'm fine."

"Humor me," he replied simply and, not seeing any way around avoiding the inevitable, she nodded her head and let him into the apartment. After getting situated on the couch, Hartley handed her a cup of coffee and she accepted it.

"Why does it smell like lemon?" Hartley asked.

She chuckled. "I, uh, may have cleaned the entire apartment."

Hartley looked at her for a moment. "Better than other ways to deal, I suppose."

"Exactly," she agreed, taking a sip of her coffee. They were silent for a few moments before Hartley spoke up again.

"Have you thought anymore about telling Barry?" Hartley asked quietly, but Caitlin shook her head.

"No," she said.

"Why not?" Hartley asked.

"It's not his job to take care of me," she murmured.

"Who took care of him when his mother died?" Hartley asked.

Caitlin sighed. "Hartley, this is a bit different. Barry would kill James, no doubt about it. He doesn't need that."

"I want to kill James," Hartley said, and she rolled her eyes.

"What happened, happened. I'm moving on from it," she said.

"Caitlin, you don't honestly think you can just move on from something as traumatic as what you went through without the help of people, do you?" Hartley asked gently.

"I'm tougher than you give me credit for, Hartley," Caitlin reminded him.

"I'm not doubting that for a second, Caitlin," Hartley agreed. "But, this isn't about you being tough. This about you knowing it's okay to say you need support right now. Barry would be there for you in a second. As would Cisco and I."

Caitlin looked at him.

"Did you tell Cisco?" Caitlin asked lowly.

"No," he sighed. "It's not my place to. But, I don't like keeping secrets from my partner and he did ask if the date went okay and why I had to go pick you up."

"What did you say?" Caitlin asked.

"I said that your car wouldn't start, and I promised I'd take you to go get it looked at this morning," he said, and she nodded, appreciative of her friend.

"You're a good guy, Hartley," she murmured.

"Duh," he replied, and they shared a collective chuckle before sobering up. "How are you doing, really?"

Caitlin thought about it. "I guess I'm just mad more than anything. Mad that someone thinks it's okay to do something like that."

"And yet, you didn't want to press charges," Hartley reminded her gently, looking at her.

"I do not need that shitshow to become my life for the next several months. Court appearances and Barry finding out what happened. No, it's just better to let it stay behind me," she said firmly.

"And, what if you're not the first girl he's done this to? Or the last?" Hartley asked carefully, and Caitlin shut her eyes.

"Please don't put that responsibility on me," she demanded quietly. He had the decency to not argue her and simply nodded, sitting with her in silence as they drank the remainder of their coffees.

XXX

Barry returned a few hours later, opening the door and looking at Hartley on the couch.

"Hey man, what are you doing here?" Barry asked in surprise.

"I just came to hangout with Caitlin for a bit while Cisco worked," Hartley lied easily, and Barry nodded.

"Why does it smell like lemon?" Barry asked in confusion, and Caitlin laughed.

"I was cleaning before Hartley came over," she replied.

"Of course, you were," Barry teased. He sat down next to her on the couch, and Hartley took that as his cue to leave.

"I'll let you guys have your apartment again. I'll see you later," he said as he stood up. He bent down and placed a kiss on Caitlin's forehead, holding his lips there for a moment, and she understood the words he wished to convey. She smiled at him as he pulled back.

"Bye, Hartley," she said. He nodded his head at Barry, who waved, and then was on his way. Once it was just the two of them, Caitlin could feel Barry's eyes on her.

"What?" Caitlin asked curiously.

"Nothing," he said. "You just seem…off."

Caitlin felt her heart beat a bit faster but kept her outward composure.

"Oh, Barry, I'm fine," she assured him. "I just hung out with Hartley, who said the same as you about getting back into the dating scene."

"And, did you take his advice any better than you took mine?" Barry asked with a grin, one that she matched, even though her muscles felt a bit stiff.

"No," she replied, and he huffed.

"You're so fucking stubborn, you know that?" Barry laughed, and she chuckled.

"Well, I'll get back out there, eventually," she said.

"What's on the agenda for tonight?" Barry asked.

"I need to grade my students' tests," Caitlin said, happy to be preoccupied from her thoughts.

"Chinese?" Barry asked.

"You know me so well," she sighed.

They left it at that as they fell into their familiar routine of eating and Caitlin grading, while Barry read. She wasn't thinking about the past night and she was just fine with that.

Author's note: Enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

Caitlin sat at the table in her and Barry's kitchen, hands cradling a cup of coffee. It had been two weeks since her attack and she was in a bad headspace of sorts. Not because of flashbacks. Though, she thought, there were plenty of those. No – what had her in a bad headspace was the fact that all she kept hearing were Hartley's words about how if she didn't press charges, there could be other women like her. Or men. She didn't know if James was a predator to one specific gender. Sighing, she took a sip of her coffee, planning on what exactly she would say to Barry when he got home. She asked him to come home after work instead of hanging out with the West's. He must have known it was serious because he agreed immediately. Soon enough, she heard his key in their door as the lock was being turned.

"Caitlin?" Barry called.

"Kitchen," she called back. She heard his quiet footsteps as he made his way into their kitchen. He paused, studying her.

"Are you alright?" Barry asked.

She inhaled shakily. "I need to tell you something and I'm so sorry I haven't told you sooner."

His face morphed from confusion to concern as soon as he saw her hands shaking and he bounded to her in three quick strides. "Hey, it's okay. Whatever it is, we'll handle it together, yeah?"

Caitlin chewed on her lip anxiously for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. Get some coffee if you want; this will take a while."

Barry dropped a quick kiss to the top of her head and went to go pour himself a cup of coffee before sitting back down at their table. He nodded at her and she swallowed.

"Remember my date with James?" Caitlin asked, making sure her voice was carefully steady.

"Yeah, you said you didn't want another one," Barry replied.

"Ha, yeah. There was a reason for that," she muttered, fingers clenching her mug.

"Which was?" Barry asked quietly, carefully.

"The dinner had been going really well. Or so I thought. He was attentive, laughing with me about first dates gone bad and listening to me express my love over teaching," she said. "I mean, I obviously wasn't planning on being exclusive after the first date, but he seemed nice enough to warrant at least a second date."

"Caitlin, you're scaring me, honey. What happened?" Barry asked softly. She took another sip of coffee to collect her thoughts before continuing.

"I, uh, went to the bathroom. Then came back and took another sip of my wine, not thinking anything of it," she chuckled humorlessly. She heard her best friend inhale sharply.

"He slipped you something?" Barry asked, voice sounding constricted. She nodded.

"Yeah. I got fucking roofied on a date," she chuckled harshly.

"Jesus," Barry gasped, rubbing a hand over his face. "I'm assuming that's why Hartley went to go pick you up that night?"

Her eyes were wet as she looked at him imploringly. "Please don't be mad that I called Hartley."

"God, no, I'm not," Barry insisted firmly. "I promise."

She sighed. "I'm sure you can figure out what happened."

Barry's eyes clouded over with a hatred she would have never dreamed possible for her best friend.

"He raped you."

It wasn't a question, and she didn't bother hiding her flinch at the word.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"I swear to God I will kill him. I'm calling Joe right now," he snapped.

Caitlin blinked. "Joe? Why?"

Barry looked at her in confusion.

"To find out which cell that lowlife is in," he replied slowly. Caitlin didn't do anything but stare down at the table and the puzzle pieces fell into place for her best friend. "Cait, you didn't report him?"

She swallowed as she shook her head. "I had Hartley take me to the hospital where, yes, they urged me to report it, but it was ultimately my choice."

Barry crouched down in front of her, clasping her hands in his gently.

"Honey, you deserve justice," he murmured.

Caitlin laughed. "You know how it goes Barry. It'll be "he said, she said", and victim blaming. "Shouldn't have worn the dress she did. Should have ordered a new drink when she came back to the table." And yes, I know Joe would never be apart of that. But, what if he isn't the detective on my case? Homicide is his specialty."

"You're family to the West's, you know? Iris loves you like the sister she never had and you're a second daughter for Joe. He'll definitely take over the case," Barry assured her.

Caitlin didn't say anything, too consumed by her guilt, and Barry picked up on it.

"There's something you're not telling me. What is it?" Barry asked quietly.

"I've had two weeks to come forward with my attack. Not only does it look really suspicious but what if James has attacked someone else? That's on me," Caitlin sighed.

Barry shook his head firmly. "It sure as hell is not. Not at all. He is a rapist and that's on him and him alone. As far as reporting your attack, you apparently watch too much Law and Order: SVU. Yes, two weeks is a bit of time, but you're the victim here. You have that right. And, since you were at the hospital, I'm assuming they did a rape-kit?" He paused for her confirmation before continuing. "Then they definitely have the proof that it happened. Not that you would ever lie about it."

"Of course not," Caitlin scoffed. "That's an awful thing for someone to lie about. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

Her voice caught at the end of her sentence and she took a sip of coffee to clear her throat. Barry's face fell.

"It's okay, you know that, right? That it wasn't your fault, and you weren't asking for it by what you were wearing," Barry said. She nodded.

"I know," she murmured. And she did. Despite how media portrayed women and men as victims of abuse, she knew she didn't do anything wrong. Just fell into the hands of a man who wasn't good. It was silent for a bit before Barry spoke up.

"Can you let me call Joe? See if he can come here to take your statement?" Barry asked and, after thinking about it for a moment, she nodded. She knew it was the right thing to do and, despite the fact that she wasn't prepared for what was to come, she knew she had people in her corner who would help.

Author's note: Enjoy! XXX


End file.
